Human Training 101

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76 – July, 2022

By Chris Robinson

Good morning, fellow American canines, and welcome to my seminar on basic human training. Several of you approached me prior to the start of this seminar to outline your difficulties in trying to train your human. We all know that humans can be stubborn, willful, obtuse, and with apologies to our porcine brethren–pigheaded. But, even with the most obstinate, it is possible to achieve a happier, more cordial relationship. Almost all humans are willing to learn if you are kind to them, love them, and never, ever give up in pursuit of your goal of having a well-trained human. What’s more, most of them want to please us.

Let’s start by admitting that a lot, if not most, of us have it pretty good. We have places to get out of the rain, wind and snow, regular meals, and many of us have comfortable beds or couches for the frequent naps we need during the course of a day. Most of our humans will go for walks with us, and in my case, at least throw some dummies for me so I can have some playtime each day. Most of you have humans who will also do something to help enhance your playtime on a daily basis.

We, or again, at least most of us, get regular loving sessions with our humans and words of appreciation from them when we do something to help them. My human, for example, always smiles and says, “Thanks” and usually adds a “Good dog” or two when I pick up something that’s fallen off the desk, off the table or kitchen counters, out of the clothes basket or off the pile of clean laundry, and hand it back. I also almost always get an “Atta, boy” or two when I clean up the messes on the floor that my human often makes when preparing meals.

This, of course, doesn’t include the fact that humans have discovered the benefits of memory foam and feather pillows on beds; and sirloin, pork and lamb chops, chicken, and let’s not forget, pizza, on tables all of which they often willingly share with us. Although sometimes, with the food items, it may require a bit of drooling on their pants legs to get their attention. So wrapped up in their own pleasure are they, that they might forget that you would also like to enjoy a bit of what smells so yummy to both you and them and with the memory foam on the bed, serious applications of “sad puppy eyes” to get the needed invite to share that comfort.

Click here to read the complete article
76 – July, 2022

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