When Embellishment Goes Bad
by Debra Vey Voda-Hamilton Hamilton Law and Mediation
www.hamiltonlawandmediation.com ©Hamilton Law and Mediation/AIAACR & PAIR All Rights Reserved 2013 · Publication with Permission
Illustration by Emma Latham
I show dogs as a hobby. In that sports venue there are deeply committed people who advance the breeds they love. Many of my colleagues in Irish Setters have been friends for decades and we share stories about our show life, the people we’ve met, the dogs we’ve owned and the triumphs we’ve achieved.
We all tend to embellish a little about our dogs’ potential. An example of such embellishment of our sport can be seen in the movie Best In Show. Reality, however, in the sport of breeding and showing your own dog, tells a different story. It takes a great deal of hard work, study and divine intervention to breed a better dog. Yet, what sometimes happens in conversation, as we embellish, can lead to future conflict when promises made don’t transpire.
Several of my mediations have dealt with promises, made by breeders to owners, which were not kept. One of my favorite authors, Simon Sinek author of Start With Why, wrote a post in January 2011 entitled, When Good Service Goes Bad . It was about a host for one of his programs making promises he clearly could not keep. The promises had to do with weather and plane travel, something we all know about. Control of weather and air travel is out of our hands because it is subject to the vagaries of Mother Nature, airline company policies and even weather elsewhere!
Simon made a brilliant observation while with his host. He said, “Good customer service is being honest, never promising what you personally can’t deliver and then going out of your way to provide the best possible option. What makes good customer service good is surprise that you were able to provide a better outcome than expected.”
This practice can and should be adopted by breeders. The promises made by a breeder should be in line with what they have control over delivering, a healthy puppy given the history of the breed and this particular line. The temperament and healthy countenance of the puppy is what an owner is buying and what a breeder is delivering on that day. Tangible things identified and quantified as they walk with their puppy out the door.
The breeder should refrain from embellishing the puppy’s future achievements based on the achievements of their parents or grandparents. The reality of breeding is, you breed the best to the best and hope for the best. This is true in every venue relying on genetics, experience and environment to further a species!
It is difficult to tell if a dog, with great physical and emotional potential as a puppy, will continue that trajectory. Once the dog is sold, the breeder no longer has control over the environment or experiences this dog has. Things can happen that don’t seem as bad at the time but turn out to be life altering for the animal.
This post is about making promises you can keep, thereby limiting the chance for conflict later on with new owners or old friends. As the ships captain says to Maverick in the movie Top Gun, “Son, your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash.” Don’t allow your ego to rule the day when talking about the potential of a puppy. You can muse and dream, which is much different from promising and guaranteeing.
Remember, winning ‘The Big One’ with your dog, the one you bred or bought as a fine companion and a good show dog, is a surprise and delight that will knock your socks off. The only thing you need to promise as a breeder is a good dog and as an owner that it will live a good life. Then provide a strong support network for the owners. This way you can all live conflict free and maintain your friendship for the life of the dog.
Leave the embellishment for others who see this puppy. Have them marvel that you let this one go and how it is truly the next great one. If it is, hearing it from other respected colleagues sounds so much sweeter. You avoid the potential for conflict from the disappointment that may come from your ego writing checks your puppy cannot cash!
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Posted by subschron
on Aug 22 2013. Filed under Current Articles, Featured.
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