Lessons of a Lifetime

By Chris Robinson

There are many important lessons that I have learned during my lifetime. As a child, I learned that hot stoves burn, a teased cat bites and scratches and if you jump off the sled before it hits the tree, you may wind up a bit bloody but you’ll likely be unbroken. I also learned that when someone calls you by your first and middle names, you’d better cease whatever you are doing to prompt that action and, depending upon what it was that you were doing, report in, put as much distance between yourself and the person yelling your first and middle names as possible, or find a very secure hiding place where you can make up a plausible excuse why you didn’t respond to the caller’s de- mand that you “get in here this instant!”

During my days at the university, I learned there were times when you had to say “no” to a party invitation and actually open the books. I also learned that consuming tequila resulted in a crushing headache and not just in the form of a hangover the next day but within a few minutes of consuming the stuff. Another dis- covery was that I should stay away from situations where what was being smoked was not tobacco but rather something which the university’s extension service classified as a noxious weed and the government viewed as an illegal substance. Avoiding these situations was not just to avert an arrest but also to prevent the same nasty headache, from inhaling the secondhand smoke, as resulted from the intake of tequila.

Upon graduation and entering the real world, I discovered that it’s wise to obey instantly, maybe even sooner, any order issued by a drill instructor, that it’s unwise to refer to a federal judge as a moronic nincompoop while in his courtroom, even if the de- scription is accurate, and if an FBI agent tells you that you need to leave the site of a getting-uglier-by-the-minute protest demon- stration on which you are reporting, you’d better do so before he determines that, for your own safety, he needs to take you into protective custody.

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Posted by Alex on Nov 10 2020. Filed under Current Articles, Featured. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.