But for the Grace of God
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By Debra Vey Voda-Hamilton, Esq.
In our lifetime things happen. We travel and make choices about everything in our lives each and every day. In the world of dog shows we plan campaigns and breedings, attend nationals and do things dog-esque that turned out really well for us, or not. We miss dog shows and find we are better or worse off for the missing. We all know or have read about people who were part of or just missed a traffic accident or airline delay. Certainly, during these events, the adage But For the Grace of God (BFGG) could not be more relevant. This article is about observer judgements and understanding the right place/right time lessons to be learned.
In the world of dog shows, BFGG can mean:
• We made the dog show and won
• We missed a dog show and the tent blew away
• We had a car accident and everyone survived
• We missed having an accident by the hair on our chin
• We accidentally bred a litter of puppies and every one finished, some with Best In Show wins.
• We bred that perfect litter on paper and none of them turned out, or worse, they didn’t make it.
We must truly love this sport. Why else would we voluntarily use all of our free time to participate? The things we love include the dogs we care for and show, the vehicles we drive to and from the venues, the people we spend our time with at the shows and those we compete against. We endeavor to assure that every living thing is safe as we travel to and from dog show venues. Yet, in the dog show world many things can happen BFGG. Each usually provides a takeaway lesson to the person having the BFGG experience as well as those looking in from the outside.
There are so many moving parts in this sport that participants accept that sometimes they are the windshield and sometimes the bug. When you are the bug, other competitors in this sport tend to judge you. Why is that? Think about it. How do you judge others for what they do? Why did they breed to that dog? Why did they come to this dog show? Why did they miss that dog show? How did their house burn down? How could their dog get away? How could they have had an auto accident? How can they explain an accidental litter?
BFGG go I and everyone else when asking/answering the scenarios listed above. As long-time breeders and exhibitors will tell you, things can go very right out of what initially seemed very wrong, and visa versa. Dogs slip leashes and open crates, people make stupid choices, accidents may be unavoidable and choices, which seem smart/dumb at the time, turn out in a way no one expected. Our crystal ball of outcome sometimes plays tricks on us. Judging someone at all for what they did and before you have all the facts fuels a wildfire of misinformation and misconception. Relying on information that is being filtered through the dog show gossip sieve never turns out well for the sport or our friends and colleagues.
We all make smart/stupid choices. Most of the choices work out for us (an example of our higher being taking care of his/her ‘less smart’ human charge) and some don’t, regardless of how little/much we plan. In the end each experience can be a BFGG experience providing us with lessons to be learned. It is up to us whether we choose to listen the first time or need a few reminders.
I am sure everyone reading this article can think of a time or two or three, when they were traveling to a show and something happened that, BFGG, could’ve turned out differently. Sometimes, when we look at another’s good/bad fortune, we say, “well I’m not surprised.” Yet you may know nothing about what happened, their reason or explanation for why they did something, why something happened or why they chose to act the way they did. Ultimately, what ever occurred as a result of their action is their choice and their responsibility.
We, as colleagues in this wonderful sport, shouldn’t judge what they did or how they did it. BFGG go you. Or, at the very least, if you feel compelled to comment in word or print, have all the facts before you do so. It is hurtful and inaccurate to read about something you may have done/missed that is depicted in error. Gossip, in any form, is often seen as fun; however, as our mothers’ said, “it is always fun until someone gets poked in the eye.” Gossip creates a situation where retraction may be necessary or additional explanation given. However, the consequences to a person’s reputation, due to the erroneous delivery of information, may be beyond repair. It shouldn’t be that way.
My hope in writing this article is to have each and every one of you stop and think before you judge someone else’s actions. Whatever happened to them, good or bad, could happen to anyone, even you. You could get to a show you never expected to attend and go Best in Show. You could miss a show and thankfully be closer to your vet when your dog has an emergency. Judging why something happens to someone or what the person did to precipitate the good/bad luck is really beyond our ability.
Remember BFGG the next time you want to comment on someone else’s fortune or misfortune. Often, when we make a choice, we don’t know how things will turn out. Looking back provides us with a new perspective. As the participant or observer, stop and fully appreciate it all as a lesson to be learned or responsibility to be accepted. In the end, only the people experiencing the BFGG moment know exactly how it happened and can explain why and what they learned. No additional outside judgement is necessary. They understand why far better than you do.
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Posted by ralbee
on Jun 15 2015. Filed under Current Articles, Editorial, Featured.
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